From ayanami@highlandgrey.com Thu Jun 25 22:03:39 1998
Newsgroups: rec.arts.anime.creative
Subject: [EVA][FanFic] Helping Hands
From: ayanami@highlandgrey.com (Luna Ayanami)
Date: Fri, 26 Jun 1998 04:03:39 GMT

Author's Babbling: This is a what-if fic, taking place at the end of
episode 21. I think that this is what Shinji SHOULD have done, but
since he didn't I had to make him do it ^^ This fic is dedicated to my
cat Snowball, who died on June 20 from breast cancer that had spread
to her lungs. I feel a lot like Misato-san does. I hope this fic
encourages everyone to reach out to a friend in need. As usual, C&C
and Lekka Shiens are to be sent to the address that follows.
--Luna

~*~*~*~*~*~
Helping Hands

Shinji hadn't heard the phone ring, hadn't heard Misato-san come home,
hadn't seen Asuka all day.

Quite simply, he didn't care, either.

He wasn't sure how long he had been a part Eva, and wasn't sure how
long it had been since he had come out, or been released from the
hospital. He seriously hated that ceiling. It was white,
sterile...uncaring.

No one cared about him. No one was nice to him.

"I'm nice to you." That voice again. Was it Ayanami? It sounded like
her...or was it Eva? Rei was the only one who treated him like an
adult. Eva...well, it hadn't accepted Rei as the pilot after he had
left. Was that loyalty? Or just plain stubborness?

Who on Earth would believe that Eva was a person?

He thought he heard something over the music and looked up. Was it
Misato-san or Asuka? Whoever it was, it sounded like they
were...crying?

Shinji pulled the headphones out of his ears, and recognized
Misato-san's voice. She was calling someone a fool...slowly, Shinji
dropped his legs down from his bed to the floor, pushed his body into
an upright position, and walked to the door, down the hall, to the
dining room/kitchen and peeked around the half-open door...

It _was_ Misato-san. She was kneeling on the floor, her head buried in
her arms, crying like he had as a child.

He ducked back around the corner and leaned against the wall, holding
his breath as he stared at the ceiling. This ceiling, at least, was
familiar...now...

**What should I do?** he thought i despair, closing his eyes tightly
and wishing he could block out the sound of her crying. **I don't know
what to do in this situation...**

He opened his eyes again as his heart bumped a little in his chest.
Misato-san was nice to him. 

He crept into the room, edging around the table until he was behind
Misato-san. He knelt, carefully moved forward on his knees, reached
out, almost decided against it, then cautiously laid his hands on her
shoulders.

She jerked her body away from him, pushing the table away, making the
dishes on it rattle. "Leave me alone!" she sobbed. 

Shinji set his jaw and placed his hands on her shoulders again,
gripping them more tightly and not letting her pull away again. He
moved forward that little bit more it took to wrap his arms around her
shoulders and pull her against him.

"Why can't you leave me alone?" she wailed, though she wasn't
struggling anymore. He didn't reply, just held her.

She sagged against him, crying hysterically, like her heart was
breaking. He didn't know why. Didn't _want_ to know why, either.

The phone rang; they both ignored it. The answering machine picked it
up. "I'm staying at a friend's house tonight," Asuka's voice said,
forcefully as was her way. "I'll be home tomorrow." -Click- A moment
more, and the light started flashing. "Message recorded at 18:43," the
automated voice said afterwards.

It was long past dinner when Misato-san stopped crying, and longer
still when Shinji let her go. He laid her sleeping body on the floor,
went to her room and fetched the blanket and pillow off her bed,
placed them in the appropriate positions over or under her and crept
back to his own room.

He lay facedown on his bed, headphones back in his ears, pressing a
pillow over his head.

**I wanted to run away...run away from Misato-san,** he thought,
pressing the pillow down harder, wanting to lose himself in it, hoping
everything would go away. He knew it wouldn't. **What could I have
said? I'm just a boy.**

~*~*~*~*~*~

Luna Ayanami 
AKA the Nefarious Oni Ayanami Luna
ayanami@highlandgrey.com
~or~
oni_ayanami@hotmail.com

My realms (or hells, depends on your PoV)
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/8016/index.htm
http://members.tripod.com/~Oni_Ayanami/index.htm
ICQ: Tenshi (4833622)